Living

Ensō, Zen, and Me

I did not publish Ensō on a whim, and I reflected on the impacts of publishing it long before I wrote a single line of code. I'd like to share why I ultimately decided to go ahead with creating it (and publishing it), but before I do, I'd like to express my sincere...

Naked Yoga

I was recently invited to a naked yoga class by a friend. I'll be honest, I don't love my body, so the prospect of doing naked yoga was daunting. So of course, I said yes. How could I not when at the simple thought of it, my pulse quickened? It made me feel...

1881

I was born in 1981, and recently, I started to carry around a coin: a Morgan Silver Dollar, from 1881. It was made 100 years before I was born. It's been held by people I've never met, who are long dead. It's been passed from father to son (possibly), it's been...

An Apology

Over the course of my life, I've apologized for a lot. Some of those apologies were very needed, but some were maybe just expected. A lot of what I apologized for was related to who I was; an erotic artist, or a non-monogamist at heart, or a sensitive poet, or...

Success and Satisfaction

It during the last couple months I've been hustling like crazy. While I usually do take a sort of weekend, I've been putting in upwards of 12 to 16 hours a day during the week and a couple hours each day on the weekend. Thinking about why I'm putting forth so much...

Birth of Matto

I wasn't born with the name Matto. Eventually though I adopted the nickname and now I am known more by that name than by my birth name. My partners use it, my friends use it, and some of my family uses it (I've asked them to all use it, but…). To me it's not just a...

I’m a professional at not touching my face…

...but to make the world better, I need your help. Photo by Augen Photographic. Union Station, Washington DC. I’m really good at not touching my face. I learned that restraint in Kung Fu class, back in college. If class had started, and you fidgeted, scratched, or...

State of the Matto (Jan-2020)

2019 had some rough spots, but I overcame them. Now, I'm looking forward with a fresh outlook. In 2019 I wrote a book and started its sequel, I started world-building a fantasy realm, and I started to learn game design by inventing some space-themed board games. I had...

Side Effects

In 2019 I went from 195 pounds after my surgery to 155 pounds. I decided I wanted to eat less and move more, and I did. But something else happened too. I almost entirely stopped drinking. I had been in the habit of enjoying a drink at night, even when my partners...

I swear, World, you will not stop me!

I started writing the new book yesterday, then it stormed like crazy and water started flowing into my house like a river... I didn't get much done on the book. But I've got a plan, and after a late run to the hardware store for materials, I'll really get to work....